Two New YouTube Videos – Both Pointless

Neighbours (N)

As some of you may remember, I wrote a five-step guide on how to steal a filing cabinet from a hospital. Here’s my second supreme guide, written from my neighbours’ point of view, on how to become arch enemies of the people next door…

1) Be friendly with them for a couple of months. Help them move in by lumping stuff into their house and let them feed your two cats while you’re off on holiday. Even invite them into your back garden for a few.

2) Give in to the urge to annoy your new neighbours by parking your two ugly cars outside their house.

3) Force the wife to go out and have a moan, which leads to you having to come out to. You definitely won’t be doing that again… Steve’s dad certainly knows how to head-butt.

4) Get the wife to pour poisonous stuff onto the neighbours’ back garden plants. Five hours later the fire engine appears, and you realised that old fellow next door has been affected tremendously by the poison. Feel slightly triumphant, but be careful in the future.

5) Feel guilty when you see Steve locked out, in the pouring rain, and invite him in. Don’t you dare give him anything to eat or drink though, and make sure all the comfortable seats are occupied.

6) Get the wife to have another moan, but stay safely inside this time around.

And there  we have it, all based on true events.