Ground-breaking laptop research

After studying 45 portable computers, consisting of netbooks/low-end ultraportables, mid-range laptops and full-blown enthusiast notebooks, I’ve drawn up an ingenious conclusion that’ll help people across the world.

Heavy laptops weigh more.

What’s more, lightweight notebooks last longer away from the main. Why? Because the heavier a laptop is, the more components it has inside. The more components a portable has, the more power it requires to run those components. Thus, heavy laptops generally die sooner when running on batteries.

I plan to sell this stupendously clever ideology to Microsoft for billions. Next stop, Nobel Prize.

Jeans, please

Just two pairs of jeans infiltrate my closet, one of which fits perfectly. With the other pair, I struggle to get them past my knees, because they’re so old nowadays, and I’ve grown so much since I first purchased them.

Also in my almost-empty wardrobe are a dozen pairs of tracksuit bottoms. Unfortunately, these are thick, hot, worn out, full of holes and stained with stubborn, irremovable, white marks. So I don’t think I’ll be wearing them.

I remember that fateful day, two summers ago, when I climbed a sloping surface that formed a part of Portsmouth’s main swimming centre, the Pyramids, and slid back down on my backside. Of course, the sloped surface, being rough and slightly jagged, tore a huge hole in the trousers I was wearing. I had to walk home like that, with my boxers on show.

I think I need some new clothes.

Spam makes me laugh

‘Thank you. I learn new knowledge from your blog’.

Don’t you just love spam comments?